Women in History Month

Wild by Cheryl Strayed

Eccy de Jonge

I am an author, philosopher, and wildlife enthusiast, currently completing an - unapologetically feminist novel.

I had an extraordinary mother - but then, like us all, I am surely biased. She took up Aikido in her 60s and only gave up after achieving a black belt, aged 70, due to the men in her class refusing to be partnered with an old woman who could throw them over her shoulder.

I was 49 when she was killed by a distracted driver on a pedestrian walkway. The grief was immense. Two years later I took myself off to the Shetland islands and Orkney for a respite from grief. A brief holiday, nothing like the trip taken by Cheryl Strayed, the author of Wild.

I saw the film, with Reese Witherspoon before I read the book. The film is fantastic; the book extraordinary. Strayed’s memoir is of walking eleven hundred miles of The Pacific Crest Trail, aged 26, in the wake of her mother's death. Reminiscing on her past, her marriage break-up, her addiction to heroin, the book is both an adventure and a memoir of grief. And that’s how I read it - aged 50, living in London, never having been to the States, looking for solace in any place I could find. To quote from Wild: ‘Fear, to a great extent, is born of a story we tell ourselves and so I chose to tell myself a different story from the one women are told. I decided I was safe. I was strong. I was brave. Nothing could vanquish me.’

But among these feminist paragraphs, it was when Strayed wrote : ‘my mother was the love of my life’ that I broke down but also felt, for the first time, able to truly grieve. We are not supposed to mourn our parents’ deaths and though Strayed’s mother was young - in her 40s at the time, and mine was 83, it makes no difference. I never managed a long hike but a few years later at 52 I backpacked and wild camped the UKs equivalent of the PCT - a mere two hundred and seventy miles -The Pennine Way. I learnt so much about myself, about ego, about strength. Thank you, Cheryl.

The other book I’d like to suggest is The Salt Path by Raynor Winn. After they lose their home and livelihood Raynor and her terminally-ill husband Moth, set out to walk the six hundred and thirty mile coastal path in Britain’s south-west corner, from Somerset to Dorset, Devon to Cornwall. Waiting week by week for a small fund to arrive in their bank account, and without mobile phones or transport, this 50 something couple, one severely ill, ask for hot water in cafes, sharing the same used teabag. A story of resilience and endurance, this is a book for anyone who dares to think the impossible or who feels constrained. I haven’t yet hiked the South West Coast Path. But thanks to Raynor Winn, it’s on my list.

With huge thanks to Eccy for her contribution!

Please do get in touch if you’d like to recommend a book, or even two!